NUR EIN
Mandibles
June MoonNur Ein XVII
almost 4 years agoshadow
3:35
June Moon
Mandibles image
Mandibles

Entry from June Moon in Nur Ein XVII.

Lyrics must contain no rhyming couplets and no perfect end rhymes.

LyricsShow lyrics

June moon
Mandibles Shadow
SpoilerThis song is about the marvelous merits of reading and writing escapist fiction. In this case, the narrator takes her inspiration from the early summer moon.
Regarding the challenge, there are no perfect end rhymes; however I did endeavor to make the end of each verse rhyme perfectly (or nearly) with a word at the beginning of the next line. There are no rhyming couplets, but the chorus is a pair of slant rhyming tercets with a coda line tacked on at the end.

My mother says it’s only a phase
Gazing into space with wistful sigh
But I’ve always known I want to be brave
Unwavering in the face of time

And I’m busting out all over
The rover’s tale entraps my mind
In a kind of sly composure
Whose closure fills a life sublime

Chorus
I will make my escape on the edge of a page
Flying over alleyways of black ink on beige
The summer sky will help me to evade
The everyday type of ennui that disdains
The sorrows, excitements, and rages exclaimed
By my heart in the dark twixt the stories I’ve made,
Oh! What stories I’ve made!

My interests never seem to wane;
Contained within, these stories hold the world
Curled in glory and in blame
Unnamed throngs in a single girl

Each thought a pearl of long sought genius,
A dreamless breadth that will excite
Delightful plots that got between this
Kiss of inspiration’s strike

Chorus

‘Soon, soon,’ says the strawberry moon
‘No doubt nor torment holds you child,
Nor your wild sense of dreaming.

Your fantasies of poetries
Could fill a thousand mystic isles;
Their smiles shall abate your keening.’

Chorus

Reviews

3 posted notes

vowlvom

Forum post

vocal melody in the chorus really reminds me of "What's Up?" by 4 Non Blondes, which is unexpected. I like the dreamy synths and oohs that fill out the mix around the piano, and the soft harmonies when the "strawberry moon" section begins are lovely.

owl

Forum post

Nice strong melody (I do like that Four Non Blondes song!) I love the bubbly little synth arpeggios that give this a vaguely new age feel and wish you'd leaned into that part of the arrangement more than the piano ballad stuff. It's a sweet lyrical idea, although I definitely find it hard to get into any lyrics using the word "twixt". I think it would go over super well at a SF/F convention. The vocal delivery is really nice and soft on the sparser chorus at the end.

sailingmagpie

Forum post

This is a very dramatic song and the vocals are excellent thoughtout. It constantly feels like it's about to explode into some heavy guitar but never does. I love that harmony led section later on. It sounds like something you might find on a Laura Nyro album. Obligatory 4 Non-Blondes reference.

Mandibles - June Moon | Nur Ein