The Numbers Don't Lie
by Boffo Yux Dudes

(The challenge is met in the verses and choruses: The verse uses the necessary sequence in A minor, the chorus uses it in C, its relative major.
The bridge is Al being Al!)
(Also full disclosure - I took a telephone coincidental survey class in the 80's so I know how to do this shit. You only need 300 raw callers to have a statistically valid survey. However, they have to be random. The biases you can introduce to skew the data can easily introduce a pattern towards a specific result. It's not hard to nudge things in whatever direction you want them to go. It literally is all in the construction of the questionnaire, and who is answering the surveys. This popped in my head because of the Republican rules for who can be at the debates in August. The rules are literally unenforceable - candidates need 1% of the vote from a data set using 300 Republican voters to be included in the debates - which no one does in their surveys. They pick 3-500 random people - you'd need a 1500-3000 set of voters to get close to the thresholds. More fuckery going on in the survey world! )

Verse:
The best way that expectations are met
Exclude what you don’t want from the data set
Plan your questions so you don’t regret
Rephrase the questions; get your whistle wet!

Chorus:
The numbers don’t lie.
The numbers don’t lie.
1500 survey members break the tie.
The numbers don’t lie.
The numbers don’t lie.
Manipulate the data kiss the truth goodbye.

Verse 2:
Harness the power of what others say.
By tweaking words and increasing the sway
Decide the end before you ever start!
Turn off the brain so you can pull at the heart!

Chrous 2:
The numbers don’t lie.
The numbers don’t lie.
1500 survey members break the tie.
The numbers don’t lie.
The numbers don’t lie.
Integrity, you can kiss it goodbye!

Bridge:
If we say how likely are you to do something and then exclude those from the final datasets, we have a non-biased group of homogeneous voters from our specific demographic.
Is that how we get 90% of Republicans love Cheez Whiz and Bill Cosby? That's amazing!
It's just in how you ask the questions, folks!

Verse 3:
No one knows what data you choose.
It's supposed to be blind but who follows the rules?
If you’re called out for your obvious bias
Turn it around: make the media pariahs!

Chorus 3:
The numbers don’t lie.
The numbers don’t lie.
1500 survey members break the tie.
The numbers don’t lie.
The numbers don’t lie.
Keep repeating this battle cry.

The numbers don’t lie.
The numbers don’t lie.
1500 survey members break the tie.
The numbers don’t lie.
The numbers don’t lie.
By these holy words we live and die.