NUR EIN
Micah Sommersmith
This Is Not A TestNur Ein XI
about 10 years agopassed
3:47
This Is Not A Test
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Micah Sommersmith

Entry from This Is Not A Test in Nur Ein XI.

Tell an origin story

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THIS IS NOT A TEST
Micah Sommersmith

NEWSCAST: ...where today a costumed hero single-handedly rescued a bus full of children from plunging into the North River. The rescuer identified herself only as the Blue Bolt. Her true identity, and any possible connection to the city’s established costumed crimefighter Johnny Hero, is unknown, as is the cause of the near-fatal incident itself. Stay with us as this story develops. For Capital City News 7, I’m Bill Bussleman...

Your faithful reporter of crime and catastrophe
“Bring us the latest!” Is what you all ask of me
Heroes so daring and villains so dastardly:
Whene’er they strike, I’ll be there.

Telling the story in all of its layers
Marshaling facts to convince the naysayers
Tirelessly working for truth, so purveyors
Of slander and falsehoods, beware!

But I was not always your brave correspondent
Once I was young, destitute, and despondent
Couldn’t tell time, for my watch, I had pawned it.
I wandered the city alone.

Then one day, a gunman I spied in the street
Was reducing bystanders to ribbons of meat
A TV reporter lay dead at my feet,
So I snatched up his live microphone,

And I said...

This is not a test, y’all, this is not a drill!
There’s a crazy man here and he’s willing to kill!
If you’ve got a deathwish, that’s a wish he’ll fulfill,
So stay away! By the way, my name’s Bill,

And I’ll be bringing you coverage that’s up to the minute.
You can trust me on this clusterfuck, ‘cause I’m in it
This killer is insane, got a problem in his brain,
That’s a fact, no matter how the pundits wanna spin it!

On the scene here, blood is pooling, brains are splattering
Wounded survivors are panicking and scattering
But wait, who’s that, in a cape and a mask?
It’s our old pal Johnny Hero, the man is back again!

The villain’s dropped his gun, I’m watching Hero pursue him
He’s trying to hide, but Hero’s coming right to him
He’s trying to fight, I’m watching Hero subdue him
Shit, Hero just picked him up, and just threw him!

The battle is over, everything is all right!
Johnny Hero saved the day, we can call it a night!
This has been Bill Bussleman rocking the mic
Man my head is reeling, but it’s a feeling that I like!

I’ve never done anything like this before
And I’ve gotta admit, I gotta do it more
Gotta make it my job, it’ll be a job I adore
Finally something feels like a passion, not a chore

So I head to the station, say “I’m Bill Busselman
You might recognize me from your own coverage.”
They look at me and say “Do you want to help us again?”
I say “Say the word,” and pretty soon I’m hustlin’

From crime scene to crime scene and story to story
I’m gettin all the scoops and I’m gettin all the glory
It never gets old and it never gets boring,
And I’m betting that it never will,

And that’s how I got to be so fucking great
I’m known through the city, I’m known through the state,
Turn on the TV any newsworthy date:
There’s the hero, the villain, and Bill!

[Bill! Hey, snap out of it, we’re back on the air in 5, 4, 3…]

NEWSCAST RESUMES: This is Bill Bussleman with Capital City News Seven, continuing our coverage of the the Blue Bolt’s rescue of a bus full of school children. The scene here...

Reviews

1 posted notes

noma

Forum post

Composition: 8/10
Lyrics: 9/10
Performance: 8/10
Production: 7/10

Creativity bonus: 5
Challenge bonus: 4
Harp bonus: 1

Weeeeeeeiiiiiiiird genre change, man. Weird Al on speed. And if you exaggerate it a bit more, you'll sound like System of a Down doing Vicinity of Obscenity, or whatever (you can count that as praise). It's a bit long-winded to me, but I like your accordion. And your harp. If that's a harp. This is super creative, so huge bonus.

Micah Sommersmith - This Is Not A Test | Nur Ein