Full disclosure, I don't care about Minecraft at all. I would like you to write songs about other things. But you do you! This song strikes me as a song that would be in a movie where there isn't a music royalty budget and they really wanted this cool Smiths song, but they had some friends with this "Smiths-like" song that they used as a placeholder until they realized they weren't going to be able to raise the money for that Smiths song after all. It's not the worst thing I've ever heard.

this style kinda wants more present vocals and synths - maybe the mix and effects could make this more punchy. Man that map looked kinda annoying. How many times did it take to do? Anyway this was fun.

Happy hardcore vibe to this, fun electronic bop. The vocal take here sounds a bit more nasal than usual, perhaps your collaborator had a cold like me? The nasal-ness is a little distracting in the pre-chorus. I enjoyed the electronic instrumentation and groove in this, solid sweeps, downswells and build ups, much care given to the arrangement and I really appreciate that; very polished, well executed and solidly in genre.
For the lyrics, for a joke song, I generally want 1) Is the joke good/funny (subjective, I know)? 2) Is it well executed? 
For serious songs, I want 1) emotional connection/vulnerability (subjective), 2) clever wordplay 3) Interesting insights or introspection. 
Lyrically, I'm guessing you did what you set out to do in generating more content for your minecraft youtube channel so take this feedback as you will; what I will say though is that I don't feel a lot of emotional weight or connection in this (even if it's melodramatic emotional weight for a gag); the stakes don't feel real. For good joke/gag songs to me, first and foremost the music MUST be good without the jokes (you have a check here, your collaborator is very solid), and second you need to have either really good jokes, and/or a relatable emotional core to the song. I'm thinking of some Weird Al parodies from back in the day, or Lonely Island, For Weird Al's "I am so sick of you", there is an emotional core of just being so fed up with the partner, and that's also where all the jokes stem. For Lonely Island, take "I'm on a boat", the emotional core is that it feels pretty baller to be hanging out on a boat, and the jokes stem from that, or "D!ck in a box", where the emotional core, while silly, is the love and caring of giving your partner an awesome gift for every different holiday. While they are filled with jokes, they also have an emotional core to them to relate to. I think you have the seed of it here, in the rage and frustration from failing, falling, and the pressure building from repeated deaths. I think leaning into the emotional elements of the lyrics can help the listener connect to the lyrics and engage in some empathy, "I crushed my can of Monster, and put a hole in my new desk, my eyes dried out from the strain of every increasing death", you know something like that.

Sorry for the wall of text. I'm a nerd at my core, and I really like jokes and humor, so I think about them a lot, including deconstructing them. As someone who loves to and does write a lot of silly and goofy songs, perhaps just take the above for some consideration and thought. I know you're banging out a lot of these lyrics in just a day, but at least IMHO adding some consideration or exploration to the emotional core for your song may improve your songs going forward. 
Anyways, what do I know? I'm just some random dude on the internet, but I hope this gives you something to think about.

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