This Is Fine
Micah Sommersmith

They told me to be sensible, they told me to be smart
They told me not to waste my time with music or with art
They said to pick a discipline to make my wallet fat
And diagramming sentences is where the money’s at

The subject is determined syntactically
The agent is determined semantically
The topic is determined pragmatically
It’s all a load of crap if you’re asking me
But I don’t mind
This is fine

They taught me about clitics, they taught me IPA
How tiny human infants learn to mean the things they say
And then they said, “Young linguist, there’s enough you understand
That now it’s time to tell us your opinion of the man.”

Chomsky is a legend, Chomsky is a fraud
Chomsky is a heretic, Chomsky is a god
The sightless eyes of Chomsky now watch me like a hawk
Though Chomsky can’t distinguish ‘tween a kitten and a rock

The subject is determined syntactically
The agent is determined semantically
The topic is determined pragmatically
It’s all a load of crap if you’re asking me
But I don’t mind
This is fine

These colorless green ideas are calmer when they’re awake
But all these blicking wugs are too much for me to take
By now I’m in so deep I need an extra pair of galoshes
I haven’t felt this out of sorts since the gostak distimmed the doshes

The subject is determined syntactically
The agent is determined semantically
The topic is determined pragmatically
It’s all a load of crap if you’re asking me

The subject is determined syntactically
The agent is determined semantically
The topic is determined pragmatically
It’s all a load of crap if you’re asking me
But I don’t mind
This is fine