Breaking the Ice
by Genevieve Johnson and The Chiefs

Excuse me
But I couldn’t help but notice that you seem to be here unaccompanied tonight
If you wouldn’t mind
Could I ask a few small questions
I don’t mean to be too forward, would it be alright?

I was just wondering…

If I bought you a drink could I sit down here beside you?
If I bought you some flowers would you think that I was sweet?
Could I maybe go and play your favourite song upon the jukebox?
I could shout us a meal – would you like something to eat?

I hope I am not being to presumptuous
I’m not some creepy stalker weirdo, really, that’s not me
I’ve just been overcome
By some inexplicable urge to come over here and offer you my generosity

If I bought you a diamond do you think that it would sparkle
With the same amazing intensity that I see in your eyes?
If I bought you a rainbow would it look dull in comparison
To the magic way in which your smile lights the skies?

If I bought you the bound complete works of William Shakespeare
Would he have the words to describe your stunning grace?
If I bought you a superconducting electromagnet
Would it be as attractive as your pretty face?

If I bought you a Rose Period painting by Picasso
Would the colours in it match the colours blooming in your cheeks?
If I bought you a great big giant tub of golden honey
Could we re-enact the kitchen scene in 9 1/2 Weeks?

Ooops – I’ve crossed a boundary there haven’t I
I’m sorry – let’s step back – re-assess and take some air
Let’s return to my original entreaty
Can I shout you a drink?
We’ll see how things go from there