The Best Places In Town Are Also The Darkest
by Oystercatcher

My kid drinks her water so quickly
Full bladder, it's a little bit tricky
I help her take a piss right there by the side of the street
I'm never bothered by the coppers patrolling their beat

When I run and I'm itching at 4 miles out
I should be able to relieve myself on my route
I shouldn't have beg and purchase a soda
Or pay a fine cuz I'm a little bit older

I can't take alley or the side of a car piss
Beneath the moon or under cover of star piss
I have to do it where the cameras won't mark it
The best places are always the darkest
The best places are always the darkest
The best places are always the darkest
In the city they are always the darkest

My kid is a cute little bathroom pass
No one has ever dared to say No when we ask
Sometimes it's me, sometimes it's her or we both do
I tell her wash her hands and always say thank you

When I'm solo it's a different kind of scene
There's no mercy for a polite adult to pee
They say buy something or they call it trespassing
I say I'm pissing, so just try and arrest me.

(repeat chorus)
My basic bodily functions are banned
The best places are always the darkest