Boilermaker
by Sólo Frijoles

Well there’s a boilermaker
and he lives on board
with his pockets full of all the things he’s stored
there’s his trusty wrench
and it goes “squeak! squeak!"
and a hammer “BONG!"
and a mouse “eek eek!"

Every day and night
He would check the hull
And the captain thought that this was kind of dull
That he checked for leaks
It had been decreed
This ship was built
Stronger than the sea

Hey there Mr. Boilermake
You think that this ship can sink
There’s no leak you silly man
“Well if there is, I’ll fix it! And the best I can!"

It was late one night
On the Arctic Coast
And the crew was busy with a New Year’s toast
No one at wheel
When the ship went “BUMP!"
And the boilermaker
Felt his heartbeat jump

So he sent his mouse
Scampering off to seek
When the mouse came back it shouted out “leek! leek!"
But the captain laughed
That he had no doubts
Why would anybody
trust a mouse?

Hey there Mr. Boilermake
You think that this ship can sink
There’s no leak you silly man
“Well if there is, I’ll fix it! And the best I can!"

So the boilermaker went below
With the captain following in tow
What they saw there chilled them to their souls
An iceberg had opened a very…big...hole

So the captain ran back
And he told the crew
And they cried to the boilermaker “what will we do?"
We don’t have vests
‘Cuz we thought we couldn’t sink
And the boilmaker said “let me think…"
My pockets hold numerous things
Let’s see what some rummaging brings
There’s my hammer ("BONG!”) wrench ("Squeak!”) and mouse (“eek!”)
Then he reached a bit deeper to pull more things out...

There was a life vest (“Yay!”)
And some oars (“Ooooo”)
There was a row boat (“Ahhhhh”)
And there was more (“There was more?!?!”)
There was a schooner (“gasp!*)
With yellow sails (“Holy cow!”)
There was a dolphin (“Eh-eh-eh-eh”)
And a whale ("[whale sound]”)

And the crew got in the boats
And on the animals backs
As their ship sunk down into the ocean black
And from that day forth
Sailing on the sea
They would sing their boilermaker melody
(Even though they now knew to believe)

Hey there Mr. Boilermake
You think that this ship can sink
There’s no leak you silly man
“Well if there is, I’ll fix it! And the best I can!"