Nick Soma - The New Ugly

Featuring Nick M. Soma on vocals, darbouka, djembe, bongos, ibo drum,
egg shaker, handclaps, glass lampshade*, papercrumplophone, cabasa,
caxixi, vibraslap, flex-a-tone, Celtic magic rattle, Deku sticks,
and toy xylophone (barely audible, during the last verse).

I sat home alone playing sarrusophone*
Then came that thing on the tube
It showed a world so horrid to me
I had to quit my playing and stare...

And as I walked the streets with eyes wide open,
I saw that you could find 'em anywhere

The New Pretty, no scars, no distorted faces
In fact they're polished to the max
The New Ugly indeed, walking like zombies
The kind with smoothly outlined backs

I gazed at the TV, I couldn't stop watching
I was in a state of terror and shock
How do they survive? They don't even eat!
And they've already invaded my block

The New Pretty, no scars, no distorted faces
In fact they're polished to the max
The New Ugly indeed, walking like zombies
The kind with smoothly outlined backs

I wish they were sweaty and pimpled and fat,
But they're perfect androids
No wrinkles, no crinkles, the expression on their faces
Is nothing but a giant void

The New Pretty, no scars, no distorted faces
In fact they're polished to the max
The New Ugly indeed, walking like zombies
The kind with smoothly outlined backs

The New Ugly, no moles, no blemishes, nothing
Equipped with an artificial smile
How do they survive? I think they don't even breathe.
I just hope that one day, they'll be out of style.

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• That big gong thing you can hear at the very end of the song (and during the choruses, but it's buried in the mix).

Best instrument ever!

* In case you don't know what a sarrusophone is, here's a little explanation for you. The sarrusophone was invented back in the 19th century as a substitute for the contrabassoon while marching. It sounds... well, let's say, not very pleasing to most ears. Because of its sound and also its huge size, it fell out of favor with most musicians during the first half of the 20th century and is rarely used today. A notable exception is They Might Be Giants' "Older" (the Mink Car version, that is.)
Oh, and no, I have never played that instrument. 😄