It's tough to get into the carnival barker/fight announcer vibe when you sound like you're stage-whispering into a microphone. Turn down the mic volume, take a couple of steps back, and really belt that mother out, man. Lyrically, I think I'm missing some prerequisite knowledge, so the words don't make a whole bunch of sense to me. I mean, I know it's about a swordfight, so, uh, cool, I guess. This sounds very much like Tom Waits, which I guess is no surprise, since this is Rabid Garfunkel we're talking about. Good effort.