Breaking the Ice
by Jon Eric

Would you guess that every “gentleman” here
Has been gazing your way all night?
Even me, and I would get a little closer
If I wasn’t so fuckin’ polite

Even if I tried to start a conversation
I would just be the last of a million men
So I would rather observe from the bench
Than try running the gauntlet again

If I break the ice, we’ll both fall through
And I would never wish that fate on you

And the truth that no one here will admit
Is that you’re actually not that great
After years of free drinks and attention
There’s no way you and I could relate

I could compare you to fictional figures
Like Helen of Troy or Lolita
But if I tell you what I’m honestly thinking
I’ll be wearing your margarita

If I break the ice, we’ll both fall through
And I would never wish that fate on you
Cold and drowning, panicked, scared
Searching for that breath of air
So I’ll just stay away, that’s what I’ll do

[shouting]
Aw, you think you’re soooo special. What do you do, anyway? I mean, what do you do? Other than… sit at the bar, lookin’ pretty? Huh? How drunk are you? Y’know, I won a Song Fight once. I do things with my life. So how ‘bout this? How ‘bout you buy me a drink, huh? …Please?

If I break the ice, we’ll both fall through
And I would never wish that fate on you
Cold and drowning, panicked, scared
Searching for a breath of air
So I’ll just stay away, that’s what I’ll do
I’ll just stay away, that’s what I’ll
What I’ll do