The north beach diet is a conspiracy
To make more vampires out of you and me
The north beach diet is a conspiracy
To make more vampires out of you and me
MIKE
It started just a couple months ago
People heard it in the news and they didn’t know
They're always ready to hop into the latest diet
As long as the only thing they gotta do is buy it
Just another fabrication of the media
That gets copied up into the brain of wikipedia
And now they’re still wearing covid masks
to hide their fangs and obfuscate their attacks
SCOTT
So take a walk along the pier and answer me
Is it normal that there's so many fish in the sea?
Can you tell me why the fishing boats are empty
And we're getting dietary regulations from the CDC?
Some people wanna laugh and they say that it's bogus
the whole thing's made up tryna give us the covis
I don't mind the food, but I didn't expect
to wake up last week with 2 bites to the neck
If anything I think it's time we keep'em in check
Gotta drive up north and command some respect
And let em know, I don't think, avacados are holy
I'd rather take'm to south beach and make'm into gaucmole
So back of and know we
Are gonna prevent this
You can't penetrate
our social distance
Hey yo Ben, once again, hit us with that rap verse!
BEN
I was walking down for groceries
When a man came and he jumped me
He had no mask to hide his sickly fangs
And then my neck it felt the sharp pang
He bit me, yes he killed me
Now I’ma clean up these streets
Use this fad here in North Beach
MIKE
at north beach they're suckin more blood than my pet chupacabra
i can't take him there instead we go to the opera
it's cause of facebook pinterest and twitter
everyone's quoting blood recipes there as if they're scripture
and i'm just sitting wondering when i can go outside
is it safe or are they seeking blood and i gotta hide
they've got an unquenchable thirst for B.S. fad dieting
and i've got a penchant for not socially abieting
Solid beat and there are some clever lines in this, although I'm not crazy about the main hook. I really like the kind of orchestral synth drop out at the start of Scott's verse and I like the layering on that verse too - interesting that each vocalist has their own production style as well as vocal style. I kinda hate the introduction to Ben's verse, it feels like a exaggerated impersonation and doesn't fit the rest of the song IMO.