Watertight
The Tydon Docks
It's a family affair
A painful realisation that a giant rift is breaking us apart
We think it's only fair
that given your proclivities for wantonness
you leave our family hearth
Genocide and mutilation
Pollution and deforestation
Your actions leave our planet crumbling to dust
It is very clear that you're not one of us
Who called you "ape"?
You know that you're not worthy of the name
You never have done anything but bring our family shame
We've gathered up the evidence, and our case is watertight
Your taxonomic classification just isn't right
You know that it makes sense
They call you Homo sapiens
But when have you shown signs of sapience?
So we must say goodbye
And cast you out forever from
The Family Hominidae
(Backing vocals by various guest Family members)
Who called you "ape"?
You know that you're not worthy of the name
You never have done anything but bring our family shame
We've gathered up the evidence, and our case is watertight
Your taxonomic classification just isn't right
Gorillas and orang-utan have all come to agree
That there must be a be a drastic pruning of our ancient family tree
Chimpanzees and their cousins bonobo
Have come to the conclusion that you have to go