For Your Consideration - Frankie Big Face

Dear Guinness Executive Director
I am writing with a story
For your consideration
I’m setting a new world record
Without even trying!
Here’s a brief summation:

I jumped through a million hoops
Bent right over backwards
Dug myself the deepest hole
Then climbed myself right out
Made all the greatest moves
And uttered all the right words
Did more than anyone else
But I still didn’t get that girl!

Dear Ripley’s Believe It Or Not!
I am writing with a tale
Of pure imagination
I was floating on the highest of clouds
But I fell to the earth
And just kept going!

I crashed through the outer crust
Directly through the mantle
Nonstop through the core
And out the other side
Walked from Australia
Straight back to Philadelphia
Did more than anyone else
But I still didn’t get that girl!