Wow. This is cool! The double-tracked vocals are out of time slightly with each other - just enough to be distracting. But i love the swelling, poppy take on the on a subject that doesn't 'suit' it. and the subtle use of the female backing vocal is good. Could maybe do with a nice meaty surf-style riff to pin down the instrumental bit. And the break goes on a little long. I think I got the point about 15 seconds into it that you are aware of the dichotomy between music and vocals. Trim that down and fade it out a little sooner and this would be a fantastic 3 minute song ... it's a pretty damn good 3 1/2 minute one.