Heid
Liner Notes
This song bridges the previous two songs by connecting their stories into one narrative. The speaker, who has just revisited their childhood home (in "Semiprecious"), now reflects on the emotional manipulation they experienced from their mother as a child. When they grow up, they find themself repeating the cycle, inflicting the same pain on their partner. It leads into "Pareidolia", in which the speaker tries to process the fact that they hurt someone they cared about deeply.

Wow this was challenging to do! It is one of the more eclectic songs I've done in a while, but ya know, it's done!

Back when I could count my Augusts on my hands
Back when I'd fall down more often than I'd stand
Figures towered over
and grabbed me by the arm
and leaned on me and told me,
"just be quiet, take the harm"

But it's fine, mother mine,
You can drag me around
Get relief
From your grief
I swear I won't make a sound
I'll spend 18 years assuring you that you've done nothing wrong,
But one thing you can be sure of
When I leave you, I'll be gone.

Now that I've gathered twice the Augusts as before
Lost track of little patterns
Stopped my hiding, locking doors.
You slept beneath my bedsheets,
I loved you as my own
We drew each other's daydreams, and I really thought I'd grown

One day you turned toward me,
Your jaw clenched pipe-wrench tight
Threw up your hands and told me,
"I'm far too tired to fight."

You said,
"It's fine, lover mine,
You can drag me around.
Take relief
From your grief,
I swear I won't make a sound.
I've spent nine full months assuring you that you did nothing wrong
But one thing I will swear to,
Tomorrow I'll be gone."

what have I done? what have i done? ....what have i done