Fido I, don't wanna hear
what you have to say anymore
'Cause you keep giving me bad advice
and I am scared that I'm gonna die
I don't wanna drive my car in the rain
I don't want to fight a bull in Spain
I won't amputate my toe for a splinter
I won't try to invade Russia in the Winter

{Chorus}
Pour me out a whisky and a beer
I'm gonna drink them both right now
'Cause I need something to drown out
These fuckin' animal sounds

Kitty can't you please be quiet now
I'm feeling a little bit edgy these days
and all the things you say
mess with my confidence and mental health
You tell me that my ears stick out like a mouse
and nobody would want me for their spouse
that I probably should destroy myself
so I can't infect anybody else

{Chorus}