ELIZABETH THE GREAT
by: I, DJ Ranger Den

Every time we go to the grocery store you make a scene...
We can't take a detour down to the HEB*.

You're a vigilante that's plain,
you've made it your mission to obtain
every lobster in the lobster tank.
We can't keep all these creatures that you take!

Stealing crustaceans every day -
bringing them back home to my place ...
am I gonna have to give all these creatures names?
...because I look around and baby, they all look the same!

I've got your ultimatum here,
and so, it's either you or the snappers gotta go.
But you look around and see, you don't like that very much - the either/or - but this is so strange!
...after I've kicked you out the house is very very quiet; but there's still an odd smell behind the bookshelf in the British history section..!
(I'm very particular about where I file things!)

so I creep up to the shelf
I don't trust myself to breathe
I'm real sad that you left, but I don't think that Mr. Snappy wants to leave...
(maybe it's a girl, how do you tell?)
She looks at the book of history
and then she looks up at me
like she wants to conquer everything
in her lobster dreams...

The lobster looks at me....
I sit and I wait and
I look at the lobster..
and she tells me her name's
Elizabeth the Great...

So I walk my lobster all over town
we don't care about no one else that's around
we don't mind nobody's business but our own!
we never come early, we always arrive late
Me, Myself, and I and Elizabeth the Great!

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*H.E.B. is a grocery store down here (very regional).