The Handbook
by Max Bombast
People ask "How do you do it Max?"
Listen close and I'll give you the facts
People ask "How do you do it Max?"
Well I'll tell you the truth
But it won't be much use
To you now
First thing that you gotta do is
Fire every single one of your muses
(Unless they happen to be me)
Next you delete all your music
God knows you're never gonna use it
So go and snap all your CDs
snap
Next step, hardest yet
This is the part where you play hard to get so just
Go pull that phone cord out the wall
Get rid of your instruments
That's the only way that you can not be tempted to
Break a string or break your heart
Oh these are the steps to take
If you wanna walk in my shoes
Oh these are all my mistakes
I made them
So can you!
People ask "How do you do it Max?"
Listen close and I'll give you the facts
People ask "How do you do it Max?"
Well I'll tell you the truth
But it won't be much use
To you now
Now wait a solid decade then
Look in the mirror and slap your face and
Go out and join a band
But next, and this part's essential,
Never play a show and start to go mental
So then you hatch up a plan
Build a room in your house
Where you can go to scream and shout and learn
Just what it takes to be a star
Buy back all of your instruments and then
Jump in and hit submit and go
Break a string or break some hearts
Oh these are the steps to take
If you wanna walk in my shoes
Oh these are all my mistakes
I made them
So can you!
People ask "How do you do it Max?"
Listen close and I'll give you the facts
People ask "How do you do it Max?"
Well I'll tell you the truth
But it won't be much use
To you now